The 10 Commandments: A Postmodern Translation

“If you do not live what you believe, you will end up believing what you live.”

Archbishop Fulton Sheen

Using a newly developed algorithm, linguistics researchers have analyzed social media data from the last fifteen years. The results are astounding. After careful analysis, they have uncovered the ten basic rules governing our society:

  1. Thou shalt have no other gods before thyself.
  2. Thou shalt not rest.
  3. Thou shalt not age.
  4. Thou shalt avoid suffering and sacrifice.
  5. Honor thy phone.
  6. Thou shalt store up thy riches.
  7. Thou shalt buy.
  8. Thou shalt not offend thy neighbor.
  9. Thou shalt publicly shame the other.
  10. Thou shalt pursue pleasure over virtue.

We were made to worship.  There is no “opt-out.” There is no real atheism.  To deny god is simply to worship something else. If we fail to consciously choose what we live for, we find ourselves swept along by the tide of our age. We will spend our time the way our society spends its time. We will prioritize what our society prioritizes. We will denigrate and destroy what our society does not value.  We will uncritically absorb the beliefs and practices of those with whom we surround ourselves. We will worship.  The question is: who, or what?

Have other suggestions for the postmodern commandments list?  Comment below!

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