Walking with the saints has been one of the great gifts for me in embracing Catholicism. It is inspiring and edifying to hear stories of people who have overcome tremendous obstacles and done so with great humility, holiness, courage, and self-sacrifice. They model faithfulness to Christ in all circumstances, and that model is encouraging to my in my walk of faith. Knowing that St. Catherine, in all her spiritual wisdom, struggled with this affliction and yet became one of the great Saints of our Church reminds me that it is not by eliminating our human frailty that we become holy. Rather, it is the continual surrender of that frailty to Christ. It is he who sanctifies.
For years, I’ve had this voice in my head telling me how I “should” pray. A spirituality professor of mine used to call this “shoulding all over yourself.” I’ve been telling myself I’m an imposter because I don’t pray enough, that I am no good as follower of Christ because I spend no time with him. This was a lie, and it wasn’t.